I recently finished a bible study by Kelly Minter called No Other Gods: Confronting Our Modern-day Idols.  Among the plethora of revelations I experienced leading my small table of nine women, one of the most stunning reveals was recognizing that I am a daily liar.  And you know what?  I would venture to guess that so are you.  Yes, I said it.  You are probably a big liar too.  I mean no condemnation by it.  Sometimes the truth is that all of us spend the entire day (especially when we’re alone) lying to ourselves about everything…we just didn’t realize that’s what we were doing!  Or at least, I didn’t, until about a month ago…

Perhaps one of my favorite things about doing a guided study is the candidness within some of the authors. Kelly (in my humble opinion) being one of the most honest authors I’ve studied with to date.  She and the women that help her prepare are soul-barring and  honest.   I will quote directly from the final day in the third week of the study titled: “behind every false god is a prowling lion,” Carrie, one of the women in Kelly’s study says it so clearly:

 …sometimes I find myself playing out a situation that’s happened in real life and then start adding to it in my mind.  Like what the person involved in the situation might have been thinking when they responded a certain way, or what their motives were behind their actions.  Really, when it gets right down to it, I realize that most of the time they weren’t thinking those things at all.  I allow my emotions and actions to be dictated as a result of believing that what I dream up in my head has actually happened.   /  I have always known that one of Satan’s major tactics is to deceive and lie to us.  I guess I never realized that these “small” imaginations that capture my brain ARE the major LIES that I believe.  I then allow those lies to negatively taint my attitude.  My responses and treatment of others turn sour, emotional well-being is severely damaged, overall mental happiness is challenged, and on and on…

It was a hallelujah, “light bulb” moment in my soul going off when I finished this day of the study.  I began recognizing the fact that the inner dialogues (or monologues with ourselves) that are going on in my head every day about every situation (work, family, friendships, relationships); those scenarios I play out in fact are lies.   Often times, the word visualizing is what I think it can be compared to.  Our imaginations are amazing assets to many of us; creating beautiful things that can lead to wonderful writing and artistry, but when allowed to take over our thoughts of reality, our imaginations can be tumultuous.  When we play out situations from real life (that have or haven’t happened or that we want to happen), we begin to take on the emotions of those scenarios and harbor false feelings towards those people in real life; real people.   It takes focus off of living in the present and allowing, trusting God to really work through us in our daily lives and interactions.  Those visualized projections take up a lot of head…and heart space.  They cause us to dwell in the past or make stuff up about the future – emotionally connecting us to fictional perceptions about ourselves and real people in our lives.  None of it has happened or will happen as we imagine it, but the feelings and emotions surrounding these false thoughts become very real.   It can cause an unquenchable thirst of wanting things to be different than what they really are, and often times, lead us into believing what isn’t truth.  Believing lies.  Becoming liars.  Sometimes, it can cause us to believe we have connections with people that we really don’t, making rejection that much harder, because we had emotionally connected ourselves in stories of possibilities and made-up conversations that never occurred in reality.  It essentially becomes a time-consuming idol in our lives that takes away from the ultimate source of joy.

Wow.

It is amazing how many things I can look back at now after recognizing this to see where my false perceived visions were the actual cause of discontentment in my life.  I can see how that is a major factor in why I’ve been so hurt by people at times.  Giving people emotions or behaviors they don’t in fact have, or assuming we know their motives is a really dangerous thing to our souls in the long run.  It’s placing a power somewhere it never belonged.  The awareness I now have has helped so much over the past month in helping me to stop lying to myself when I start.  When I see myself beginning to develop those false perceptions and conversations, I turn my heart back towards the Lord.  I look at scripture. I find a song to sing.  I actually call or text a friend; instead of thinking about a conversation I want to have, I actually have a conversation.   What a concept.  I don’t want to continue being controlled by the ultimate liar.  I don’t want to be a liar.  I’m pretty positive none of us do.

Food for thought, huh?