Post tenebras lux, translated to mean “After darkness, light” or “light after darkness.” It is the motto of the college where I coach tennis. While it may mean little to many that wander the grounds of State Street, I believe it had significance to the individuals that thoughtfully chose their seal decades ago. I romanticize often of a time when words were deep and people chose an educational workplace with intention; to make their piece of the world a better place. To shine a light on that which was dark. For me as a Christian, the motto provides a lot of poetic parallels in my own work and life.

After a heartbreaking text conversation (again) last week with a young man that I really wanted to keep in my life (not reciprocal on his end), I was reminded of my favorite quote: (this quote was also paraphrased and powerfully spoken by one of the actors in Coach Carter).

“It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most…”

I am still sad and grieving the loss of what I know could have been an amazing, adventurous, albeit challenging story of growth and authentic relationship for both of us. Yet, ultimately, I was the light he did not want to continue to shine in his direction. He would rather choose to play in the dark a little longer in order to shade the insecurities of himself and the one he chose over me weeks ago. But as he wrote the words, hoping I would understand, all I understood directed me back to this quote: “…there is nothing enlightened about shrinking so other people won’t feel insecure around you…”

While we gravitate towards light like moths to a flame, the risk to some for getting burned sends their singed wings flying back into the comfort of the dark. If that light in our life begins to spark on what we do not want to address,  this world makes it too easy to choose to put a halt on growth in the areas we know we need it most (relationship). Insecurity is a stumbling block from the enemy of our souls to keep us from growing toward the light that water’s the seeds planted.  Satan’s purpose in this world is to distract God’s chosen people from knowing joy in abundance (even through trials), peace that transcends understanding, and true fulfillment in relationship with the triune God and others. Choosing to believe there is always tomorrow, when tomorrow is never guaranteed is a foolish way to keep the lights dim for another day.

Dear reader, post tenebras lux. Light always shines best in darkness. God speaks loudest at those moments, and I know that my life and his intersected for a greater purpose. A purpose filled with light for both of us to grow towards.

“…and when we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same…”  The caveat is our own free-will.

Are you shining light in a life-giving way? Allowing others to grow? I hope that I did. I hope I continue to do so.