Hello.

Ironically, I find myself passing time in a Hyundai dealership as I did almost exactly eight years ago to the day; no really, four days off from an exact eight years ago. You can link back to check that blog out here though it isn’t one of my best. And at Hyundai I sit.  This time in business waiting. In Massachusetts. Dusting off the old blog as I wait for my beautiful, blue, mid-size baby at now 238+K miles to get an oil change and a MA inspection sticker.  I’m eight years wiser now. I own my car now. I still have hope in people. And I believe my car will make it to 400k.

Anyway, I hardly recognize the young woman in me that wrote all those years ago, and yet time has blessed me with the ability to re-read, reflect, and see the amazing changes that have taken place within her. Within me.  Today is a day full of revelations that make me thankful I chose to begin documenting my thoughts all those years ago, seldom as they jump to the creative forefront of my life.  My life in Christ.  A simple Christian of the last ten years in today’s ever revolving world.

Where did I go?  It is as if I have been somewhat hidden since two summers ago. Fall of 2016 all the way through 2017. Here, seven months into 2018…and the ways that I’ve been walked through fire only to come out with no burns is incredible…and likely not over soon… My heart and my passion just grows back bigger every time I allow for the conflict and the hard times to bend and challenge me; allow me to lean even further into my good, ever pursuing God. Which, if you are still reading this, leads me to the compelling reason for today’s post. Something stirring inside of me that just cannot be kept hidden.  I’m sure that I’ve heard this analogy somewhere, but I’m going to put it into what I witnessed through the Holy Spirit and the hand of God all over the place today.

The chase. The pursuit. The hide and seek nature of man/woman and God. The patience that He has for his children. Many times, when we are choosing, knowingly or unknowingly, to live in ways that are contrary to God’s Holy Spirit, we are hiding ourselves–our souls–from a good, loving God. Now, if God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all (1 John 1:5), then how and why do we hide from light?

Well, we do. I’ve seen it over and over again — in my own life, in the lives of everyone I meet. We become complacent. We forget it’s there. We rationalize and dim it low. We lean on our own understandings to make light of darkness, instead of shedding light on the darkness in order to open ourselves up to being healed and restored in unimaginable ways. We hide in the darkness and convince ourselves that it is good. We allow the enemy of our souls to lie and convince us that home base isn’t as good as hiding and seeking after something different. And we continue as children to play the game of hide and seek with God that the devil invited us to join him on long ago. Yet, God has placed many friends in this game.

And sometimes we are good at hiding. We are so good that we lose sight of home base, and forget that it was the enemy who told us to go hide in the first place. The one who shamed us into believing that we couldn’t be good enough. The one who tells us we’ll never make a difference. The one who says we are all alone. The one who says we have to love ourselves first, because no one else will want us. The one who says we know more. All the while, God never stops seeking us! God Never stops loving us! He is the ultimate seeker. He will chase you down no matter how far you get away, because he sent himself here in Christ to pick you up the moment you needed him most. He wrote the way out of the game and all we have to do is have a mustard seed of faith to follow it.

Where did I go?  Well, I began hiding my voice for fear that others will write me off too soon.  Hiding my excitement and enthusiasm, so that others won’t feel insecure around me. And hiding from the fact that there is still work to be done here.  So here I am, on this late July day, overflowing with joy from witnessing the hand of God at work daily—gently pulling me back into the place where I am abundantly thankful for what was, what is, and what is yet to come.

What are you hiding from right now? God is the ultimate seeker, but He loves it when you change the game and start seeking Him.  He never lost you to begin with.