Write. Write something. Write anything. And all I can muster most days is an inspirational or convicting Instagram post for myself that I won’t even share over to Facebook, because I generally avoid that platform like I do large public gatherings. I took the opportunity to register for a Writer’s Training group monthly. Made the steps to invest in a professional photo-session with a friend in hopes that the photos might inspire me to finally sit down and open the dusty blog again. Here I am. I guess it did the trick? Yet as I stared at twenty drafts and scrolled through countless notes that I wrote or voiced into my phone over the past twelve months, I don’t want to write on any of it right now. Mostly, I write for myself and my audience of One, a catharsis, but lately, it’s almost like I’m punishing myself by deliberately refusing to write. I ask myself constantly right now, what’s the reason for it? Discipline? Disobedience? Disappointment? A little bit of all three of those I believe.

A friend posted her church service from this past weekend tonight, so I listened to the message. Essentially, the pastor mentioned a small excerpt from Exodus. See, the Bible has many moments with unnamed or rarely spoken of characters that were in fact “positioned for a purpose,” and thus through a simple 25 minute message, God spoke to me. Every day, I see a little piece of the purpose-pie reminding me that I am where I am not by random occurrence. Every day, regardless of what little annoyances or frustrations pop up, while I adjust to a rhythm I can’t seem to dance to quite the way I want yet, something occurs where God gives me the opportunity to fix my eyes on Him in the present moment and remember. Each morning since the book arrived, Win the Day by Mark Batterson has actually been incredible at encouraging and re-wiring my efforts to stay present within each day. Continuing to convict me to steward my daily responsibilities with real intention as I heard clearly two and a half years ago.

Today I started at love again. Writing three small paragraph’s that aren’t perfect to publish, not sure my words will mean anything to anyone other than me. Updating professional headshots that make me feel good & remind me of where I am today. Reading. Meditating on Ezekial 36:26 in my Lent Devotional. Prayer (both for others and telling a friend I need it when she asked rather than pretending I don’t). Responding to E-mails, working from home (even though no one can see me do it), and being intentional in all my interactions. I’ll take this day, with its crying and comeback moments, as Game, Set, Match in my favor. I hope you will do the same for yourself.